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Pictures of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitts daughter Shiloh have been the talk of many magazines. It seems that the celebrity couple allows the girl to dress as a boy and swim only in trunks rather than a bathing suit. The question becomes is this helpful or harmful, should parents assist a child in forming gender identity or allow the child to choose what feels right? This can be a difficult subject and the famous parents are probably not the only ones struggling with it.
What is the duty of parents?
To stand by until children ask for assistance or to gently instruct and guide children through life? Some parents are better at this than others but it does not mean the task is unnecessary. Children need guidance whether they accept the guidance is another topic all together but it does not take away from a parent’s responsibility.
Do children need help with forming gender identity?
Little girls may climb trees and race bicycles but are they really making gender decisions? Most of it is innocent play without any thought of what is appropriate for a boy or girl. Society however begins to make distinctions and well meaning parents in the spirit of tolerance may assume things about their children that just are not true. Assuming a 5 year old girl wants to be a boy is premature. This thought can be placed in the child by relatives if it is mentioned enough and the child may begin to believe it and act accordingly.
Parents can help by both providing gentle guidance and still allowing their kids to be kids.
